Bratty Boys, and my screwy Brain

Well summer is coming to a close in a bout two weeks for me. just my luck that last week would be the busiest week for my summer job of running a daycare for my mom's workout class. yes i only work Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday but im telling you....this was hard. Tuesday i had, drum roll please, TEN!!!! little boys. TEN!! all between the ages of 5 and 7. ARG! luckily my 12 year old friend was there to help along with her 8 year old brother (he wasn't that much help though). most are pretty okay except for this little just 6 year old who must be a demon in blond curls. i had him again on Thursday and literally had to drag him off the floor back to where his mom was so she could put him in time out cause you know what? they dont really listen to me all that much. luckily with so many we played a group game of dodge ball. oh yes! throwing a ball at their little heads was most relaxing. Thursday luckily i only had 5 but i was by myself so i figured okay time to put that theater training to good use and used my stage voice the entire time. oh that surprised them. unfortunately while they werent being good boys and playing an organized game by themselves (which they did with the leadership of my one mature seven year old.) they were a little too rough and i had a total of three injuries. the little five year old who is evil but danged if he aint so cute got hit in the eye and started crying with saddest boo boo face i ever saw. hes a little monster but he seems to like me enough he gives me kiss when he leaves. (grr. that little two face!) well at least i raked in the dough that week. 70 bucks. that makes it a little better. haha.

now as ive mentioned ive been reading the twilight series and i totally love it. the first i loved the second was awesome (Jacob makes me laugh so freakin' hard i dont know why) and even the third i really liked. now i is on the fourth and oh my im nearly jumping out of my own skin. (no slight referance intended. ew.) i read 1/3 of the book in one day, i couldnt stop and in the beginning i was happy then a little more in i wasnt so much, now this morning i finished book two of BD and am happy again. im EXHAUSTING MYSELF!!! once i put the book down i couldnt stop thinking about it! last night i couldnt bring myself to do my writing because i couldnt focus i knew i was seriously in trouble when i could barely get my mind under control to say my prayers. i woke up in the middle of the night (as i do once in a while for no apparent reason whatsoever) and found my mind still on Edward and Jacob and Bella. i finally got back to sleep saying this was ridiculous and when i woke up the next morning, BAM!!!! again! its as if my mind picked up right where i left off. i was seriously getting a bit paranoid. i read some more this morning and then knew i needed some down time for fear id go mad and ruin the enjoyment of the book for myself. i literally retreated from my subconscious and put a Japanese song in my head. i got on the computer trying to think of anime (i did this the night before as well, it helped me get back to sleep to put the Gankutsuou End theme in my head) i immediately turned on my media player put on my everything playlist on shuffle and blared 'High School Never Ends' in my head. i escaped to the other side of myself, the anime geek side, to hide while my bookworm self was beat back into a controlled submission. i did some Internet stuff, watched some anime alternating with drivers ed classes and am now in control....i think.
sigh. sometimes i feel as if i have no control over my own mind. Is it just me or do i just have an extremely overactive imagination?

spelling, quotes, and my incoherence

BLAST!!!! why must my normally bad spelling become utterly atrocious as my at first minimal vocabulary becomes astoundingly larger. oh the oddities that writing bestows on ones own habits. perhaps in my efforts to not sound boring i have come to overlook the spelling of my words in order to get them out quicker so as not to bore myself. why that would have an affect on me at all I've no clue. I've always accepted the fact that my spelling is lacking but heaven forbid it to become unbearable to even me. just my luck that the child to be a writer in my family would inherit the spelling gene from my father who's own arrangement of letters leaves something to be desired. God bless spellcheck when i can get it.
GRR and Foil!!

*huff* well that being over with here is something of interest. ive come to be obsessed with quotes. yes, quotes. little bits of wisdom that have a taste of humor, preferably from people who were not considered entirely sane. those are the best ones. haha. well aside from my quote box on the side ive decided to put some of my favs write here. i just have to share some of them. i think this will be a new thing. ill post a list of quotes every once in a while. well here are a few.

"Love looks with the heart and not with the mind; And so winged cupid is painted blind" — William Shakespeare

"You speak an infinite deal of nothing." — William Shakespeare (The Merchant of Venice (Shakespeare, Signet Classic))

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." — William Shakespeare

"Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him." — Charles Dickens (David Copperfield)

"There are books by which the backs and covers are by far the best parts." — Charles Dickens

"Strength is incomprehensible by weakness, and, therefore, the more terrible." — Nathaniel Hawthorne (The House of the Seven Gables (Norton Critical Edition))

"We men of study, whose heads are in our books, have need to be straitly looked after! We dream in our waking moments, and walk in our sleep." — Nathaniel Hawthorne (The Scarlet Letter)

"Do anything, save to lie down and die!" — Nathaniel Hawthorne (The Scarlet Letter)

"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true." — Nathaniel Hawthorne

Ends of Upside down Tears

ive made a discovery. found the answer pertaining to my complex about endings. whether they be in movies or books. anime or manga. you can often hear people say 'oh that ending was really good' 'i like how that ended'. nope not me. i have never once been able to bring myself to say these words. why? well because i loath endings. why? i have no clue. i can hardly ever bring myself to "like" an ending to a book or something. i have a tendency to push it out of my memory entirely. especially if the ending is sad. for example. i did not enjoy (to my friends' shock and horrification) 'a walk to remember' yes it was sweet but...meh. have no clue. another ex. Titanic. sure the beginning is kinda fun and heck dicaprio always finds a way to make me laugh. i have never seen the end to this movie. and i kinda dont mind if i ever do. just thinking about the last few scenes i saw makes that sick wretched feeling surface again. could this be simply suppressed tears? i dont cry at movies or such. never really have. is this bad? is this why i hate endings especially sad ones? or is it because i prefer to be in my happy medium of a place.
today i watched something utterly miserable making sad. did i cry? no. i felt like i should but did i? no. and now i go to blocking out the entire thing because if i dwell on it that wretched feeling comes back. happily gnawing at my insides refusing to even consider that i might accept the ending given to me..........and now i realize that i am rambling. well thats all i have to say. have fun people who like endings. i forever will watch from the shadows ready to suppress all unpleasantries that come my way.
and yet, i think to myself, i enjoy emotional scenes in the middle of stories. heck i love to write about them. maybe its just the endings that i loath entirely.....