Bratty Boys, and my screwy Brain

Well summer is coming to a close in a bout two weeks for me. just my luck that last week would be the busiest week for my summer job of running a daycare for my mom's workout class. yes i only work Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday but im telling you....this was hard. Tuesday i had, drum roll please, TEN!!!! little boys. TEN!! all between the ages of 5 and 7. ARG! luckily my 12 year old friend was there to help along with her 8 year old brother (he wasn't that much help though). most are pretty okay except for this little just 6 year old who must be a demon in blond curls. i had him again on Thursday and literally had to drag him off the floor back to where his mom was so she could put him in time out cause you know what? they dont really listen to me all that much. luckily with so many we played a group game of dodge ball. oh yes! throwing a ball at their little heads was most relaxing. Thursday luckily i only had 5 but i was by myself so i figured okay time to put that theater training to good use and used my stage voice the entire time. oh that surprised them. unfortunately while they werent being good boys and playing an organized game by themselves (which they did with the leadership of my one mature seven year old.) they were a little too rough and i had a total of three injuries. the little five year old who is evil but danged if he aint so cute got hit in the eye and started crying with saddest boo boo face i ever saw. hes a little monster but he seems to like me enough he gives me kiss when he leaves. (grr. that little two face!) well at least i raked in the dough that week. 70 bucks. that makes it a little better. haha.

now as ive mentioned ive been reading the twilight series and i totally love it. the first i loved the second was awesome (Jacob makes me laugh so freakin' hard i dont know why) and even the third i really liked. now i is on the fourth and oh my im nearly jumping out of my own skin. (no slight referance intended. ew.) i read 1/3 of the book in one day, i couldnt stop and in the beginning i was happy then a little more in i wasnt so much, now this morning i finished book two of BD and am happy again. im EXHAUSTING MYSELF!!! once i put the book down i couldnt stop thinking about it! last night i couldnt bring myself to do my writing because i couldnt focus i knew i was seriously in trouble when i could barely get my mind under control to say my prayers. i woke up in the middle of the night (as i do once in a while for no apparent reason whatsoever) and found my mind still on Edward and Jacob and Bella. i finally got back to sleep saying this was ridiculous and when i woke up the next morning, BAM!!!! again! its as if my mind picked up right where i left off. i was seriously getting a bit paranoid. i read some more this morning and then knew i needed some down time for fear id go mad and ruin the enjoyment of the book for myself. i literally retreated from my subconscious and put a Japanese song in my head. i got on the computer trying to think of anime (i did this the night before as well, it helped me get back to sleep to put the Gankutsuou End theme in my head) i immediately turned on my media player put on my everything playlist on shuffle and blared 'High School Never Ends' in my head. i escaped to the other side of myself, the anime geek side, to hide while my bookworm self was beat back into a controlled submission. i did some Internet stuff, watched some anime alternating with drivers ed classes and am now in control....i think.
sigh. sometimes i feel as if i have no control over my own mind. Is it just me or do i just have an extremely overactive imagination?

spelling, quotes, and my incoherence

BLAST!!!! why must my normally bad spelling become utterly atrocious as my at first minimal vocabulary becomes astoundingly larger. oh the oddities that writing bestows on ones own habits. perhaps in my efforts to not sound boring i have come to overlook the spelling of my words in order to get them out quicker so as not to bore myself. why that would have an affect on me at all I've no clue. I've always accepted the fact that my spelling is lacking but heaven forbid it to become unbearable to even me. just my luck that the child to be a writer in my family would inherit the spelling gene from my father who's own arrangement of letters leaves something to be desired. God bless spellcheck when i can get it.
GRR and Foil!!

*huff* well that being over with here is something of interest. ive come to be obsessed with quotes. yes, quotes. little bits of wisdom that have a taste of humor, preferably from people who were not considered entirely sane. those are the best ones. haha. well aside from my quote box on the side ive decided to put some of my favs write here. i just have to share some of them. i think this will be a new thing. ill post a list of quotes every once in a while. well here are a few.

"Love looks with the heart and not with the mind; And so winged cupid is painted blind" — William Shakespeare

"You speak an infinite deal of nothing." — William Shakespeare (The Merchant of Venice (Shakespeare, Signet Classic))

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." — William Shakespeare

"Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him." — Charles Dickens (David Copperfield)

"There are books by which the backs and covers are by far the best parts." — Charles Dickens

"Strength is incomprehensible by weakness, and, therefore, the more terrible." — Nathaniel Hawthorne (The House of the Seven Gables (Norton Critical Edition))

"We men of study, whose heads are in our books, have need to be straitly looked after! We dream in our waking moments, and walk in our sleep." — Nathaniel Hawthorne (The Scarlet Letter)

"Do anything, save to lie down and die!" — Nathaniel Hawthorne (The Scarlet Letter)

"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true." — Nathaniel Hawthorne

Ends of Upside down Tears

ive made a discovery. found the answer pertaining to my complex about endings. whether they be in movies or books. anime or manga. you can often hear people say 'oh that ending was really good' 'i like how that ended'. nope not me. i have never once been able to bring myself to say these words. why? well because i loath endings. why? i have no clue. i can hardly ever bring myself to "like" an ending to a book or something. i have a tendency to push it out of my memory entirely. especially if the ending is sad. for example. i did not enjoy (to my friends' shock and horrification) 'a walk to remember' yes it was sweet but...meh. have no clue. another ex. Titanic. sure the beginning is kinda fun and heck dicaprio always finds a way to make me laugh. i have never seen the end to this movie. and i kinda dont mind if i ever do. just thinking about the last few scenes i saw makes that sick wretched feeling surface again. could this be simply suppressed tears? i dont cry at movies or such. never really have. is this bad? is this why i hate endings especially sad ones? or is it because i prefer to be in my happy medium of a place.
today i watched something utterly miserable making sad. did i cry? no. i felt like i should but did i? no. and now i go to blocking out the entire thing because if i dwell on it that wretched feeling comes back. happily gnawing at my insides refusing to even consider that i might accept the ending given to me..........and now i realize that i am rambling. well thats all i have to say. have fun people who like endings. i forever will watch from the shadows ready to suppress all unpleasantries that come my way.
and yet, i think to myself, i enjoy emotional scenes in the middle of stories. heck i love to write about them. maybe its just the endings that i loath entirely.....

Meet the demands or demand to meet

well first off our summer reading book this year happens to be the count of monte cristo. ive always wanted to read this book...or see the movie if that proved to be to bothersome. well ive decided to acually read it since i failed to read the last three assigned books in my school career. so kill me if i didnt want to read Moby Dick, uncle toms cabin, and Farenheit 451...okay so i could have read the last one and wish i had but i was being a smart ass. i just cannot be forced to read something. it is the one thing that reminds me that i am actually stubborn. who knew? if you tell me to do it im less likely to want to. sigh. i hate that im like this but fail to fix this fault my programing. sigh. well once again i say that ive chosen to read it.....but im watching the anime first. mwahahahahahahaha. yes there is an anime of the count of monte cristo, BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! i try not to mention anime and manga on this blog.
random comment: i like painting my nails blue.
im getting better at my daycare job. its become easier since im starting to know the kids better. i had a new one last thurseday. a three year old little girl who happened to be at that stage where 'why?' seems to be the best word in the world. luckily she was very cute and loved to jump into my arms while we watched toy story 2. (i love that movie!) she was the most social three year old id ever met. she announced to me out of the blue that she wanted to go say hi to the one of the instructors at the desk and told him all about how she was three but would be four tomorrow then five. how cute!!
oh summer! how i miss my friends dearly!!
i am incredibly happy about my writing right now. last week i just could not focus worth beans. i had finally got myself to stop writing so as to go back and revize though i loath it entirely. finally in church on sunday i just prayed really hard for the perseverance to get this book done quickly and be able to focus my mind on things. and here i am this week revizing like a maniac. THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!
lollipop lollipop oh lolli lolli lolli lollipop. POP!

bookshelves and other news

hello all. sorry ive been gone for a monstrous amount of time. a whole week practically. how dreadful!! well we had the pleasure of tenting our house so we had to stay in a really crappy hotel for two days. oh and did i mention this particular hotel that had supposedly cleaned up its act from the drug busting love motel it was before actually is the top suspect in trying to fraud our credit card account. ugh. well for those few three days i was forced to stay extra entire days at the karate studio but that was slightly appeased by the purchase of a new purse and being payed twenty bucks for watching camp kids overtime.

the next week our family took off so everyone was home except for my brother who still had classes and will never stop working. so, my dad used this time to finish my bookshelves that ive been wanting forever. SO HAPPY!!! i helped stain them. i was dizzy from the fumes afterwards but it was rewarding.....and quite messy. That thurseday we had our 'vacation trip'. we just took the hours drive up to aneheim and went to this really awsome mall. (i gots books from a borders and made the discovery of how much i love american eagle outfitters) afterwards we had lunch at the house of blues in downtown disney which was alote of fun. our families now been to practically every house of blues except for the one in texas. (texas here we come!) so the week was actually perty fun. i love shopping.

heres a pic of my new bookshelves. yes i know they aint covered in books but hey just wait a few weeks. the four small compartments at the bottom are to be drawers for my clothes but my dad has to figure out how to make them first. also youll see my shelves inhabited by multiple creatures. three teddy bears and 20 pufkins. me and my bro used to collect pufkins like the rest of the world did beeny babies. they is very cute bu now you cant find them hardly anywhere except perhaps online. oh and did i mention we dont have just nineteen but i figured it would be overwhelming to the eyes if i included the other 22 lined up on the top in the shot.

and to the kingdom hearts fans who read my blog...yes, that is a keyblade on my top shelf. haha

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Rant for no apparent reason

hmmm. havent posted in a while it seems. whats going on with me? hum. oh! we is having our house tented. we have to stay in a hotel for two days and i have to spend and entire extra day at my moms work and we have to bring one of our dogs cuz we have no where to put the mutleys. tis a bit of an annoyance.
what else?......im almost don with the gemma doyle series. the first book i read in a day and a morning, the second i paced myself and was thouroghly exhausted in the process and the third went utterly slow till about half way through when i finally got into it. the reason for this escapes me. was i just to exhausted? maybe it was because the characters were getting on my nerves a bit. (seriously i was getting really pissed at gemma). but its all good now....mostly.
ummm.....im learning intervals in voice lessons which is fun, im having a little trouble getting through some pages in my writing but im really trying to buckle down so i can move on to the exciting stuff thats been playing in my head forever. oh! and i had a really interesting/exilerating but yummy coffee drink the other day. I ususally get a mocha frappuccino at starbucks but caffeines not doing what it used to for me so like a drug addict i realize i just need more of it. well i found my match. me and my mom went to coffee bean and we found an equivalent to our mocha frap with the word extreme in the title. its basically the same except for one thing......its full of ground expresso beans. WOW!!! was that good!!! haha. just what i need right?
well i think thats it for now. im trying to be more positive in my posts. hope its working.

Being up late can be dangerous

well as some of you might know i do my writing at night. and this has a tendency to carry me to my normal bedtime of midnight, 12:30 at the latest. well my parents are not night people at all. believe me its the saddest thing theyre in bed by 9 or 10 at the latest every night. oy. tis early. (for me). well my dad works with the city (i aint gonna say which one) and so hes on call alote. also he has a tendency to hate it when his kids are up "late" because hes like 'what in the heck could you be doing so late?'. oh i dont know dad. reading?writing? both things that make me uterly happy? well last night it was around midnight and i knew i had to get to bed soon but i was in a good writing groove and wasnt going to miss the oportunity and decided to keep going for a while. low and behold i hear my dad's phone going off. Oh Shiznit. hes gonna know im up. dang it all! so i reluctantly put down my pencil and turn off my light even though i know hes already seen it and knows im up. this causes me to fall out of my writing groove and unfortunately give in to bedtime.
the funny thing is the next morning i find myself on the phone with him (he thought i was my mom at first. haha. funny) and hes like 'so i got a call at two in the morning last night and you were up what were you doing?' um hello it was 12 not 2. i had my glasses on did you? haha. ah papà, ¿que està mal?